Up 6.8 from the last leaving weight, but down from the weight of my first attempt.
Here we go again.
I gained over 2 pounds a month since I was last at WW. All of it from pizza I'm sure, well, and the chocolate and alcohol of the holiday season. Some things have changed though, I have retained some of the habits from my earlier time on the plan: healthy breakfasts of fruit, poached egg and dry toast at work; smaller pasta portions when I cook; light cream in my coffee. These things are probably why I didn't bounce upward to a higher starting weight this time.
The carb cravings are still pretty intense though. I'm going to try adding chromium picolinate which has apparently had some effect in reducing carbohydrate cravings in people and is also a support chemical in blood sugar maintenance. I'm also taking Wellbutrin/Zyban for Seasonal Affective symptoms. It has been terrific for me - the general background depression and anxiety of this time of year has been much reduced. I will go off it in the Spring when the mornings are light again. I tried light therapy by the way and found that my sleep was disturbed and I had anxiety attacks.
So, stay tuned. And wish me well.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Weeks 8, 9, and 10
Week 8 (09/11): Down 2.4 (total 11.6 lbs)
The slow and steady inching forward with allowances for eating out, birthdays, Friday afternoon drinks, and pizza cravings seems to be working. The only thing I'm denying myself is the denial.
In the past I have not been able to get back on the horse because I was plagued by "what's the point" dialogues with my carb-craving self. They would go something like this:
So, I'm stopping at the new pizza place at least once a week and I've cut out the mayo on my lunch sandwiches which means 15 extra points a week can be put toward that chewy, cheesy, margherita pizza - mmmmmm. I'd rather have pizza than almost anything, so I'm adapting. And I'm slowly extracting the nutritional info from the pizza guys who make it right in front of me. So far I've got 9 oz. of crust (strictly weighed) made from a sourdough starter shipped all the way from Naples and which has to be fed every night, topped with a half cup of pureed tomatoes (from a can) which have nothing else in them but some salt and basil and which also apparently are Naples approved. The cheese is a bit harder to figure out because they just grab a handful of chunks of the soft Buffalo mozzarella and sprinkle them on top but if I watch then I can guestimate. Then they sprinkle basil leaves and drizzle olive oil over the top and bake. Heaven.
Week 9 (09/18): Down 0.0 (total 11.6 lbs)
Week 10 (10/09): Down 0.8 (total 12.4 lbs)
I have been neglectful of the blog (sorry Susan). The lack of weight loss is actually a cause for celebration. The 2.4 loss was my reward for getting back on to the Flex plan after my long week of birthday celebrations and hotel eating (pats herself on the back). The zero weight loss of the following week was me saying to myself "go ahead, you're going to gain weight while you are away anyway..." as I prepared for a rather impromptu vacation of a cruise followed by two days in Vegas. The 0.8 loss of week 10 is the result of the food on the cruise and in Vegas (Bouchon is to die for) followed by about 10 days of moderation interspersed with yummy things like Pizza from PrimaStrada because, after all, I was going to show a big gain on the scale wasn't I?
So, the lesson learned is that I should eat the low-point meals when it is just 'fuel' I need, rather than eat fattening stuff at every meal, and this will help me from gaining when I go off-plan. Also, I realised on the cruise that I wanted the big chunks of fruit at breakfast even when hashbrowns were available. And book vacations where you walk alot - that helps too.
See you next week (I promise)
The slow and steady inching forward with allowances for eating out, birthdays, Friday afternoon drinks, and pizza cravings seems to be working. The only thing I'm denying myself is the denial.
In the past I have not been able to get back on the horse because I was plagued by "what's the point" dialogues with my carb-craving self. They would go something like this:
It's a fresh new week, I can be strict and adhere to the program and make up for this lapse
But didn't that (creamy, chewy, cheesy) thing taste good? And look, it hardly added anything to the scales surely if you just had one more it wouldn't hurt? And you can always start WW after the next weigh-in.
Oh God, I can't get that voice out of my head, I'll never be able to succeed because I really do want that (creamy, chewy, cheesy) thing and now all I can do is think about it, endlessly! What's the point?
So, I'm stopping at the new pizza place at least once a week and I've cut out the mayo on my lunch sandwiches which means 15 extra points a week can be put toward that chewy, cheesy, margherita pizza - mmmmmm. I'd rather have pizza than almost anything, so I'm adapting. And I'm slowly extracting the nutritional info from the pizza guys who make it right in front of me. So far I've got 9 oz. of crust (strictly weighed) made from a sourdough starter shipped all the way from Naples and which has to be fed every night, topped with a half cup of pureed tomatoes (from a can) which have nothing else in them but some salt and basil and which also apparently are Naples approved. The cheese is a bit harder to figure out because they just grab a handful of chunks of the soft Buffalo mozzarella and sprinkle them on top but if I watch then I can guestimate. Then they sprinkle basil leaves and drizzle olive oil over the top and bake. Heaven.
Week 9 (09/18): Down 0.0 (total 11.6 lbs)
Week 10 (10/09): Down 0.8 (total 12.4 lbs)
I have been neglectful of the blog (sorry Susan). The lack of weight loss is actually a cause for celebration. The 2.4 loss was my reward for getting back on to the Flex plan after my long week of birthday celebrations and hotel eating (pats herself on the back). The zero weight loss of the following week was me saying to myself "go ahead, you're going to gain weight while you are away anyway..." as I prepared for a rather impromptu vacation of a cruise followed by two days in Vegas. The 0.8 loss of week 10 is the result of the food on the cruise and in Vegas (Bouchon is to die for) followed by about 10 days of moderation interspersed with yummy things like Pizza from PrimaStrada because, after all, I was going to show a big gain on the scale wasn't I?
So, the lesson learned is that I should eat the low-point meals when it is just 'fuel' I need, rather than eat fattening stuff at every meal, and this will help me from gaining when I go off-plan. Also, I realised on the cruise that I wanted the big chunks of fruit at breakfast even when hashbrowns were available. And book vacations where you walk alot - that helps too.
See you next week (I promise)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Week 7
Up 2.2 (9.2 lbs total)
So after two weeks, flying to Halifax and back, birthday cake (twice), birthday dinners (duck, two ways no less), brunches (Bon Rouge) and breakfast (Mo:Le) - thanks Cathie VB, Debbie, Me, and Cath P - pizza and a lot of alcohol in various forms, I gained 2.2 pounds? I was positive it would be around 7, I mean I ate with abandon! I will have to watch next week because the lag may come up and smack me. I have swollen ankles from all the carbs and the 12 hours of travel so I hope that the fluid goes down this week.
The good news? I bought new shoes - Wolkys - to aid my walking efforts. And I've signed up for a History seminar at UVic to aid my mental health. I love autumn.
So after two weeks, flying to Halifax and back, birthday cake (twice), birthday dinners (duck, two ways no less), brunches (Bon Rouge) and breakfast (Mo:Le) - thanks Cathie VB, Debbie, Me, and Cath P - pizza and a lot of alcohol in various forms, I gained 2.2 pounds? I was positive it would be around 7, I mean I ate with abandon! I will have to watch next week because the lag may come up and smack me. I have swollen ankles from all the carbs and the 12 hours of travel so I hope that the fluid goes down this week.
The good news? I bought new shoes - Wolkys - to aid my walking efforts. And I've signed up for a History seminar at UVic to aid my mental health. I love autumn.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Week 5
Up 1.4 lbs (7.8 total)
You're right - I tried the pizza. It was nice but it didn't drop me in my tracks, which is a good thing. However, the gain wasn't solely attributable to the pizza. I also spent the week indulging.
Saturday I had Ocean Blues (1 part Vodka, 1 part Blue Curacao, 2 parts Margarita mix, slushy ice, very pretty and oh so tasty) and appies at a get together with the girls from my recent MCBA course; the more I drank the more I ate. Monday I went to a fabulous restaurant (Stage) with my friend Debbie where we split every dish and had some terrific wines followed by an enjoyable evening of theatre at the Belfry. Tuesday night I tried the pizza and on Wednesday I went with a girlfriend from work to the new Bard & Banker pub where we had a delicious cheese plate and a chilled prawn salad. Thursday the scale showed me just how much all of that cost.
It was all worth it though, and I know that not every week of my life is going to be like that. It seems I am being less critical of myself this time through WW. This week's indulgences were tempered with sensible eating and I tracked it all, knowingly putting myself into point-deficit. At the meeting, standing in line waiting to weigh in, I will admit to hoping that the scale still showed a loss but I laughed at myself for thinking it and I didn't crumble inside when the realistic gain appeared. I didn't have that sense of failure that comes from not meeting unreasonable expectations.
You're right - I tried the pizza. It was nice but it didn't drop me in my tracks, which is a good thing. However, the gain wasn't solely attributable to the pizza. I also spent the week indulging.
Saturday I had Ocean Blues (1 part Vodka, 1 part Blue Curacao, 2 parts Margarita mix, slushy ice, very pretty and oh so tasty) and appies at a get together with the girls from my recent MCBA course; the more I drank the more I ate. Monday I went to a fabulous restaurant (Stage) with my friend Debbie where we split every dish and had some terrific wines followed by an enjoyable evening of theatre at the Belfry. Tuesday night I tried the pizza and on Wednesday I went with a girlfriend from work to the new Bard & Banker pub where we had a delicious cheese plate and a chilled prawn salad. Thursday the scale showed me just how much all of that cost.
It was all worth it though, and I know that not every week of my life is going to be like that. It seems I am being less critical of myself this time through WW. This week's indulgences were tempered with sensible eating and I tracked it all, knowingly putting myself into point-deficit. At the meeting, standing in line waiting to weigh in, I will admit to hoping that the scale still showed a loss but I laughed at myself for thinking it and I didn't crumble inside when the realistic gain appeared. I didn't have that sense of failure that comes from not meeting unreasonable expectations.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Week 4
Down 3.4 lbs (9.2 total)
The Gods are mocking me. Seriously.
Around the corner from me, two short Fairfield blocks, is Pizzeria Prima Strada, and apparently:
Pizza is my bete noir, my saviour, my best friend, my anti-depressant, my demon. All other food is weighed against it: Moules et Frites? or Pizza? Cassoulet? or Pizza? Eggs Benedict? or leftover Pizza? 6 point frozen Weight Watcher Pasta Alfredo? or Pizza.
I know I will succumb, so I have to plan and I have to make that pizzaiolo my friend. I'll have to get a 20 point pizza worked out so that I can use my usual 10 points at dinner plus use 10 points from my weekly stash, and I'll make it an event. I cannot exclude this food from my life or I will feel deprived and eventually, defeated and depressed, I will crave it so strongly that I will eat it 4 times a week, with full Italian sausage and extra cheese.
P.S. Susan, I love you, get well, get strong, see you soon.
The Gods are mocking me. Seriously.
Around the corner from me, two short Fairfield blocks, is Pizzeria Prima Strada, and apparently:
An expert pizzaiolo from San Francisco is training the kitchen staff in the proper art of making Neapolitan pizza. The wood fired oven is working, the doors are open and the owners are very welcoming.I can attest to the open door. My bus stops right in front of it. At 5:00 pm every evening I will get to step off a bus, hungry, tired, and uninspired to the smell of a brick pizza oven.
Pizza is my bete noir, my saviour, my best friend, my anti-depressant, my demon. All other food is weighed against it: Moules et Frites? or Pizza? Cassoulet? or Pizza? Eggs Benedict? or leftover Pizza? 6 point frozen Weight Watcher Pasta Alfredo? or Pizza.
I know I will succumb, so I have to plan and I have to make that pizzaiolo my friend. I'll have to get a 20 point pizza worked out so that I can use my usual 10 points at dinner plus use 10 points from my weekly stash, and I'll make it an event. I cannot exclude this food from my life or I will feel deprived and eventually, defeated and depressed, I will crave it so strongly that I will eat it 4 times a week, with full Italian sausage and extra cheese.
P.S. Susan, I love you, get well, get strong, see you soon.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Week 3
Down 1.6 lbs (5.8 total)
I have two words for you this week: Dim and Sum. If you are ever tempted, don't do it. I discovered that it is impossible to eat these seemingly small objects while counting points. I had a business luncheon and our guest picked Dim Sum as his choice of nosh. I thought to myself "I'll just stay away from the deep-fried ones, eat slowly and in moderation". Thank God I had a plan. Well, it turns out that even the most innocuous looking, rice-wrapped, shrimp-stuffed, two-bites-and-its-gone, morsel is over 200 calories for 100 gms. I left lunch feeling dissatisfied because the most yummy stuff, the deep fried squid and the deep-fried shrimp rolls and the sticky rice packets, were only tasted in passing. When I got back to the office I did some internet trolling to see if there was a calorie chart anywhere for these things. Sure enough Hong Kong's department of public safety (I can see why) had a listing. My moderate, unsatisfying lunch had conservatively cost me around 32 points. The sodium levels were off the charts. So, the next time someone says lets do Dim Sum I am going to invent an allergy to pork and gently steer them toward a fabulous sushi restaurant.
On a happier note I have come up with a quick pasta recipe that has great taste and only puts 9 points in the bowl. I dice about 1/4 cup of sweet onion, 1/4 cup of red pepper, and a 1/2 cup of zucchini, saute them in a teaspoon of olive oil until soft, add dried oregano, a dash of red pepper flakes, and stir. Then add 1/2 cup of commercial marinara sauce (around 60 cals), a dash of red wine vinegar, and simmer. Once the 2 oz. of dried spaghetti goes into the boiling water I add 100 gms of fresh or thawed prawns to the sauce (about 6 to 9 depending on size). Once the pasta is al dente, I drain, put into my favourite pasta bowl, top with the sauce and sprinkle 30 gms of light Feta cheese over the top. Yummy, a sort of Greek prawn dish with a little kick. While I eat it I imagine I'm sitting on the deck of one of those fabulous Greek island houses with Meryl, watching Colin Firth walk up the hill toward me. In my fantasy Abba is still playing but Colin discovers he isn't gay after all!
I have two words for you this week: Dim and Sum. If you are ever tempted, don't do it. I discovered that it is impossible to eat these seemingly small objects while counting points. I had a business luncheon and our guest picked Dim Sum as his choice of nosh. I thought to myself "I'll just stay away from the deep-fried ones, eat slowly and in moderation". Thank God I had a plan. Well, it turns out that even the most innocuous looking, rice-wrapped, shrimp-stuffed, two-bites-and-its-gone, morsel is over 200 calories for 100 gms. I left lunch feeling dissatisfied because the most yummy stuff, the deep fried squid and the deep-fried shrimp rolls and the sticky rice packets, were only tasted in passing. When I got back to the office I did some internet trolling to see if there was a calorie chart anywhere for these things. Sure enough Hong Kong's department of public safety (I can see why) had a listing. My moderate, unsatisfying lunch had conservatively cost me around 32 points. The sodium levels were off the charts. So, the next time someone says lets do Dim Sum I am going to invent an allergy to pork and gently steer them toward a fabulous sushi restaurant.
On a happier note I have come up with a quick pasta recipe that has great taste and only puts 9 points in the bowl. I dice about 1/4 cup of sweet onion, 1/4 cup of red pepper, and a 1/2 cup of zucchini, saute them in a teaspoon of olive oil until soft, add dried oregano, a dash of red pepper flakes, and stir. Then add 1/2 cup of commercial marinara sauce (around 60 cals), a dash of red wine vinegar, and simmer. Once the 2 oz. of dried spaghetti goes into the boiling water I add 100 gms of fresh or thawed prawns to the sauce (about 6 to 9 depending on size). Once the pasta is al dente, I drain, put into my favourite pasta bowl, top with the sauce and sprinkle 30 gms of light Feta cheese over the top. Yummy, a sort of Greek prawn dish with a little kick. While I eat it I imagine I'm sitting on the deck of one of those fabulous Greek island houses with Meryl, watching Colin Firth walk up the hill toward me. In my fantasy Abba is still playing but Colin discovers he isn't gay after all!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Week 2
Down 4.2 lbs (4.2 total)
My first full week back on the Flex plan and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. In the past I have always experienced resistance when I returned to a program; my mind would rebel at the lack of novelty, I could hear the voice saying "this didn't work before, it won't work now" - a self-fulfilling prophecy if ever there was one.
This week I coped at a company picnic with the usual cast of chips, potato salad, hot dogs, and pecan pie. I budgeted some of my daily points and dipped into my weekly stash to get through it - and I stayed away from the alcohol. I learned last time through WW, that if I drank, I ate. And the more I drank the more I ate. Funny that. I also went to two movies and had small popcorns, no topping, and diet coke. I ate out at a pub one night and had breakfast and lunch at the cafe every working day. In fact, I didn't cook once all week except to microwave a frozen dinner. Welcome to single life.
I feel calm, like I am back on a path after floundering around in the deep salal for a while. One week has made a difference in the swelling of my ankles, the depth of my sleep, the flexibility in my torso, the drum-tight skin around my knees. I am sane again and the journey can continue.
My first full week back on the Flex plan and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. In the past I have always experienced resistance when I returned to a program; my mind would rebel at the lack of novelty, I could hear the voice saying "this didn't work before, it won't work now" - a self-fulfilling prophecy if ever there was one.
This week I coped at a company picnic with the usual cast of chips, potato salad, hot dogs, and pecan pie. I budgeted some of my daily points and dipped into my weekly stash to get through it - and I stayed away from the alcohol. I learned last time through WW, that if I drank, I ate. And the more I drank the more I ate. Funny that. I also went to two movies and had small popcorns, no topping, and diet coke. I ate out at a pub one night and had breakfast and lunch at the cafe every working day. In fact, I didn't cook once all week except to microwave a frozen dinner. Welcome to single life.
I feel calm, like I am back on a path after floundering around in the deep salal for a while. One week has made a difference in the swelling of my ankles, the depth of my sleep, the flexibility in my torso, the drum-tight skin around my knees. I am sane again and the journey can continue.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Week 1 (again)...
Up 32.2
I walked back into my WW meeting tonight sure that I was 10lbs heavier than the last time I started only to discover that my "starting" weight was EXACTLY the same as the last time I went. Hmmm. However, it feels like it is distributed a little differently this time - I think there are less muscle-y bits and more wobbly bits.
Anyway, "Fifty by fifty" will have to become "Fifty-one by Fifty-one" because there is no way that I am losing 50 by August 26th! I do, however, hope to see "Down by 10" at the top of the page and some slack in the waistband of my favourite jeans.
Carol, our WW leader, reminded me that it took her 7 starts before she succeeded and that just walking back in the door was a triumph. I hope it is a triumph and not the absolute embodiment of the definition of insanity:
Actually the insanity thing isn't too far off the mark. The "cycling into depression" that I talked about in February is real. I become a hermit, craving solitude; I derive pleasure only from eating very specific foods and then only while actually engaged in the activity; I despair of ever seeing the light at the end of the depression tunnel (and I now think that that phrase is apt); and I just function - no living involved. At 2 or 3 pizzas a week, a fairly large quantity of alcohol, and a daily vanilla fudge drumstick it didn't take me long to regain the weight.
Last weekend I realized that I had surfaced once again and could look at the depression without breaking down into sobs and could begin to think about how to weaken its grip on me next year. I've come to think that it is, in large part, Seasonal Affective Disorder and this year I aim to buy the light boxes for both my home and work. I realized that as the world grows darker in the fall I slowly begin to go outside less: I go to work at 7 am, work in a monitor-lit cubicle, eat at my desk, and go home at 4 to my dark apartment. By the time the exciting, holiday part of the year is done with I am sliding into my annual ditch. The spring doesn't instantly wake me any more, April's lengthening days do not provide enough incentive to go outside. May and June used to revive me but as I age it seems that the grip of the depression gets stronger - this year it took July to get me back to what the rest of the world experiences as normal.
I walked back into my WW meeting tonight sure that I was 10lbs heavier than the last time I started only to discover that my "starting" weight was EXACTLY the same as the last time I went. Hmmm. However, it feels like it is distributed a little differently this time - I think there are less muscle-y bits and more wobbly bits.
Anyway, "Fifty by fifty" will have to become "Fifty-one by Fifty-one" because there is no way that I am losing 50 by August 26th! I do, however, hope to see "Down by 10" at the top of the page and some slack in the waistband of my favourite jeans.
Carol, our WW leader, reminded me that it took her 7 starts before she succeeded and that just walking back in the door was a triumph. I hope it is a triumph and not the absolute embodiment of the definition of insanity:
doing the same thing over and over again expecting the outcome to change
Actually the insanity thing isn't too far off the mark. The "cycling into depression" that I talked about in February is real. I become a hermit, craving solitude; I derive pleasure only from eating very specific foods and then only while actually engaged in the activity; I despair of ever seeing the light at the end of the depression tunnel (and I now think that that phrase is apt); and I just function - no living involved. At 2 or 3 pizzas a week, a fairly large quantity of alcohol, and a daily vanilla fudge drumstick it didn't take me long to regain the weight.
Last weekend I realized that I had surfaced once again and could look at the depression without breaking down into sobs and could begin to think about how to weaken its grip on me next year. I've come to think that it is, in large part, Seasonal Affective Disorder and this year I aim to buy the light boxes for both my home and work. I realized that as the world grows darker in the fall I slowly begin to go outside less: I go to work at 7 am, work in a monitor-lit cubicle, eat at my desk, and go home at 4 to my dark apartment. By the time the exciting, holiday part of the year is done with I am sliding into my annual ditch. The spring doesn't instantly wake me any more, April's lengthening days do not provide enough incentive to go outside. May and June used to revive me but as I age it seems that the grip of the depression gets stronger - this year it took July to get me back to what the rest of the world experiences as normal.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Week 25 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 4.2 (32.2 lbs total)
I got back on the horse that bucked me and tracked all my food this week. I also began my training walks for the Times Colonist 10K walk on Sunday, April 27. And look what happened!
The blinding simplicity of it! The sheer A + B + C of it! The utter lack of mystery!
Thank you all again for your encouragement - I'm sure I'll need it again.
I got back on the horse that bucked me and tracked all my food this week. I also began my training walks for the Times Colonist 10K walk on Sunday, April 27. And look what happened!
The blinding simplicity of it! The sheer A + B + C of it! The utter lack of mystery!
Thank you all again for your encouragement - I'm sure I'll need it again.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Weeks 23 and 24 Results and Lessons Learned...
Up 2lbs (28 lbs total)
I missed my first WW meeting. I worked late that night (week 23) but I should have got my butt out of bed on Saturday morning and weighed in then. However, I did go back on week 24 and discovered that my worst fears weren't going to be realized - I had only gained 2 lbs over the 2 weeks. I had been indulgently soothing my stress and worries with the usual foods: pizza, natchos, fries and burgers and I hadn't tracked a thing. I thought I'd gained about 5 lbs.
The good thing from this was that it reinforced my belief that going to the meetings is one of the most important things you can do on this journey. People had noticed my absence and were quick to welcome me back, to offer me consoling stories of their lapses and give me words of encouragement and advice. And it all helped. I left the meeting with a renewed sense of purpose and a goal of tracking my points between now and next meeting - one day at a time, keep the eyes down and on the small goal of losing a pound at the next weigh-in. It's easy to get discouraged when you look at the still-distant goal (the one that lies beyond 50 x 50 but isn't so alliterative!) It feels like it will never happen and it diminishes the success you should feel at losing almost 30 lbs.
So, thank you to all those people who took the time to think of me and offer me their thoughts and best wishes, those words really made an impression on me and gave me the lift to get over this hurdle. And a special thank you to you, beeflady!
I missed my first WW meeting. I worked late that night (week 23) but I should have got my butt out of bed on Saturday morning and weighed in then. However, I did go back on week 24 and discovered that my worst fears weren't going to be realized - I had only gained 2 lbs over the 2 weeks. I had been indulgently soothing my stress and worries with the usual foods: pizza, natchos, fries and burgers and I hadn't tracked a thing. I thought I'd gained about 5 lbs.
The good thing from this was that it reinforced my belief that going to the meetings is one of the most important things you can do on this journey. People had noticed my absence and were quick to welcome me back, to offer me consoling stories of their lapses and give me words of encouragement and advice. And it all helped. I left the meeting with a renewed sense of purpose and a goal of tracking my points between now and next meeting - one day at a time, keep the eyes down and on the small goal of losing a pound at the next weigh-in. It's easy to get discouraged when you look at the still-distant goal (the one that lies beyond 50 x 50 but isn't so alliterative!) It feels like it will never happen and it diminishes the success you should feel at losing almost 30 lbs.
So, thank you to all those people who took the time to think of me and offer me their thoughts and best wishes, those words really made an impression on me and gave me the lift to get over this hurdle. And a special thank you to you, beeflady!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Week 22 Results and Lessons Learned...
Up .2 lbs (30 lbs total)
I have actually been thinking about this weight gain rather than just wailing in despair (which, don't get me wrong, I have also been doing) and I have realized that I am experiencing the onset of depression. I am a depressive personality, cycling through the lows at least once a year. And food is my solace, my stress release, a way of loving myself when I feel the rest of the world doesn't. I've lost the sense of hope about the future that I have when I'm not depressed, and you need hope to diet. Unfortunately knowing I'm entering a depressive cycle is not the same as "curing" it and I'm still reaching for the food. So, my thoughts about this phase are that I just have to get through it without doing too much damage to myself - I'll eat the healthy choices when I can and try to get some exercise in and keep going to meetings. One day I will wake up with a renewed sense of joy and hope and the week will fly by and I will lose some weight, until then I am going to try and be kind to myself in as many non-food ways as I can.
I have actually been thinking about this weight gain rather than just wailing in despair (which, don't get me wrong, I have also been doing) and I have realized that I am experiencing the onset of depression. I am a depressive personality, cycling through the lows at least once a year. And food is my solace, my stress release, a way of loving myself when I feel the rest of the world doesn't. I've lost the sense of hope about the future that I have when I'm not depressed, and you need hope to diet. Unfortunately knowing I'm entering a depressive cycle is not the same as "curing" it and I'm still reaching for the food. So, my thoughts about this phase are that I just have to get through it without doing too much damage to myself - I'll eat the healthy choices when I can and try to get some exercise in and keep going to meetings. One day I will wake up with a renewed sense of joy and hope and the week will fly by and I will lose some weight, until then I am going to try and be kind to myself in as many non-food ways as I can.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Weeks 20 and 21 Results and Lessons Learned...
Up 4.8 then down 1.6 (30.2 lbs total)
I have to say that I didn't write last week because I was disheartened - almost 5 pounds up in one week: my ankles were swollen, my eyes were puffy, my rings were tight. But I know it wasn't all water weight, I'd eaten the better part of a bag of Old Dutch Rip-L chips and dip at a Mary Kay party the night before. In fact I'd spent the week eating as though points were a thing of the past. Book club, Dunsmuir Lodge, dinner out for a friend's birthday - endless opportunities to fail and I succeeded at every one.
I seem to have lost the sensibility to eat with sense.
I need some new motivational tactics to get me off this self-induced plateau because right now the visualisation techniques, positive goal setting, mantras and promise of new clothes, are not cutting it. I hear my mind go "yeah, yeah, what's for dinner?" whenever I try to tell it to think of some abstract future goal. The 10% WW goal has been achieved but nothing has taken its place and the end goal of 50 by 50 feels too far away. The only good thing is that my unwavering commitment to attend the meetings has been that - unwavering.
Any help will be appreciated.
I have to say that I didn't write last week because I was disheartened - almost 5 pounds up in one week: my ankles were swollen, my eyes were puffy, my rings were tight. But I know it wasn't all water weight, I'd eaten the better part of a bag of Old Dutch Rip-L chips and dip at a Mary Kay party the night before. In fact I'd spent the week eating as though points were a thing of the past. Book club, Dunsmuir Lodge, dinner out for a friend's birthday - endless opportunities to fail and I succeeded at every one.
I seem to have lost the sensibility to eat with sense.
I need some new motivational tactics to get me off this self-induced plateau because right now the visualisation techniques, positive goal setting, mantras and promise of new clothes, are not cutting it. I hear my mind go "yeah, yeah, what's for dinner?" whenever I try to tell it to think of some abstract future goal. The 10% WW goal has been achieved but nothing has taken its place and the end goal of 50 by 50 feels too far away. The only good thing is that my unwavering commitment to attend the meetings has been that - unwavering.
Any help will be appreciated.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Week 19 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 1.6 lbs (33.4 lbs total)
I am content with 1.6 lbs. The 4.2 of last week was a little over-exuberant, I want to lose the weight slowly so my skin shrinks! I do not want to be sitting in a Plastic Surgeon's chair a year from now wondering how I am going to pay to have the excess droopy bits chopped off. I mean I fantasize about the two piece bathing suit but deep-down I know that what's under the clothes is never again going to be a "pretty" sight - too many surgeries and not enough moisturizer. I really, really want my lovely legs back though so I'm going to work on those inner thigh wobblies.
A friend has promised to walk the Times Colonist 10K with me in April so I hope to be 14 weeks thinner by then, about 20 lbs if all goes well. Don't worry, you'll hear me going over the 50 lb mark.
Ciao.
I am content with 1.6 lbs. The 4.2 of last week was a little over-exuberant, I want to lose the weight slowly so my skin shrinks! I do not want to be sitting in a Plastic Surgeon's chair a year from now wondering how I am going to pay to have the excess droopy bits chopped off. I mean I fantasize about the two piece bathing suit but deep-down I know that what's under the clothes is never again going to be a "pretty" sight - too many surgeries and not enough moisturizer. I really, really want my lovely legs back though so I'm going to work on those inner thigh wobblies.
A friend has promised to walk the Times Colonist 10K with me in April so I hope to be 14 weeks thinner by then, about 20 lbs if all goes well. Don't worry, you'll hear me going over the 50 lb mark.
Ciao.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Week 18 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 4.2 lbs (31.8 lbs Total)
Getting back to a routine has its benefits, and while I recognize that this is mostly water weight from the type of food I ate over the holidays, it still feels good. Another gold star for crossing the 30 lb mark and I'm a quarter of the way to my ultimate goal (which is still fairly fluid in my mind - no pun intended).
The biggest lesson for me this week was that the boring but balanced daily meals at work are good for my mind as well as my waist. There are no agonizing decisions over what to order from the menu and therefore no mental lingering over the temptations. Though this week the cook at the cafe offered to spice up my mornings by making me a 3 egg-white veggie omelette instead of my usual poached egg on dry toast with a side of fruit salad. He also offered to put aside some of the tuna before mixing in the mayo so I could have a toasted tuna sandwich for lunch (one of my favourites). I think I'll have to get him something nice for a thank you gift because, while any man who cooks should be rewarded, one who thinks up things for you to eat should be crowned.
Getting back to a routine has its benefits, and while I recognize that this is mostly water weight from the type of food I ate over the holidays, it still feels good. Another gold star for crossing the 30 lb mark and I'm a quarter of the way to my ultimate goal (which is still fairly fluid in my mind - no pun intended).
The biggest lesson for me this week was that the boring but balanced daily meals at work are good for my mind as well as my waist. There are no agonizing decisions over what to order from the menu and therefore no mental lingering over the temptations. Though this week the cook at the cafe offered to spice up my mornings by making me a 3 egg-white veggie omelette instead of my usual poached egg on dry toast with a side of fruit salad. He also offered to put aside some of the tuna before mixing in the mayo so I could have a toasted tuna sandwich for lunch (one of my favourites). I think I'll have to get him something nice for a thank you gift because, while any man who cooks should be rewarded, one who thinks up things for you to eat should be crowned.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Week 17 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 2.4 lbs (27.6 lbs total)
So...
the net loss since December 6th? .2 lbs. That's about the same amount of weight as the cream in your morning coffee.
It's a challenging time of year but I had fun and I'm not feeling too much Anglican guilt - I'm not Catholic but as I was born in England and baptised C. of E. I guess it's close enough; they wave the smelly stuff in the aisle too. I drank sufficient quantities of cocktails while playing Texas Hold'em at my semi-ex-husband's house on New Year's Day and I ate everything offered including some delicious charcuterie from Choux-Choux's (On lower Fort Street, you must go).
2008 is here and the long climb out of darkness has begun. I'm looking forward to the lengthening days and I have a plan. The Times Colonist 10K defeated me last year - I conked out at 6K, conveniently at the end of my street - but this year I intend to walk over the finish line. So a training plan is under way starting next week at work. I am staying late Wednesday nights to do Toastmasters at the Tech Park conference center. So on those days I will work 9 to 5 and go to the gym after work and before the meeting at 7:15. Then, in March, I will join the 2 day-a-week bootcamp that runs outside at the Tech Park. Slow and steady will get me in better shape than my usual head-long rush at the gym followed by a pulled [latin word here].
No resolutions this year - just plans and short-term, easily reachable goals.
Happy New Year.
So...
the net loss since December 6th? .2 lbs. That's about the same amount of weight as the cream in your morning coffee.
It's a challenging time of year but I had fun and I'm not feeling too much Anglican guilt - I'm not Catholic but as I was born in England and baptised C. of E. I guess it's close enough; they wave the smelly stuff in the aisle too. I drank sufficient quantities of cocktails while playing Texas Hold'em at my semi-ex-husband's house on New Year's Day and I ate everything offered including some delicious charcuterie from Choux-Choux's (On lower Fort Street, you must go).
2008 is here and the long climb out of darkness has begun. I'm looking forward to the lengthening days and I have a plan. The Times Colonist 10K defeated me last year - I conked out at 6K, conveniently at the end of my street - but this year I intend to walk over the finish line. So a training plan is under way starting next week at work. I am staying late Wednesday nights to do Toastmasters at the Tech Park conference center. So on those days I will work 9 to 5 and go to the gym after work and before the meeting at 7:15. Then, in March, I will join the 2 day-a-week bootcamp that runs outside at the Tech Park. Slow and steady will get me in better shape than my usual head-long rush at the gym followed by a pulled [latin word here].
No resolutions this year - just plans and short-term, easily reachable goals.
Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Weeks 15 & 16 Results and Lessons Learned...
Week 15 Down .4 lbs (29 lbs total)
Week 16 Up 3.8 (25.2 lbs total)
What can I say? WW took my keychain back. Just kidding.
I didn't track my points this week because I knew that the scales would not be my friend. Just for fun I tracked my company's Christmas dinner and drinks at Brentwood Bay Lodge & Spa last Friday. I was still drunk when I did it so I can't vouch for completeness but it topped out at 156 points for the day. I can hear you laughing from here. And the alcohol only accounted for 12 of those points (Champagne is surprisingly point-friendly)!
Anyway, I survived the week guilt-free which is what mattered most. I didn't go into Christmas week swearing to keep to my daily points and then inevitably failing - that would have created the "I've failed, again" mentality and I might have given up for good. Instead I said "Lesley, you have permission to gain weight this week and eat anything you want until next Thursday, Oh and don't bother with the tracker. Have fun!"
This morning I woke up to a whole new WW week and started tracking. I have 9.5 points left for dinner and I know exactly what I'm having so all is good.
Happy New Year!
Week 16 Up 3.8 (25.2 lbs total)
What can I say? WW took my keychain back. Just kidding.
I didn't track my points this week because I knew that the scales would not be my friend. Just for fun I tracked my company's Christmas dinner and drinks at Brentwood Bay Lodge & Spa last Friday. I was still drunk when I did it so I can't vouch for completeness but it topped out at 156 points for the day. I can hear you laughing from here. And the alcohol only accounted for 12 of those points (Champagne is surprisingly point-friendly)!
Anyway, I survived the week guilt-free which is what mattered most. I didn't go into Christmas week swearing to keep to my daily points and then inevitably failing - that would have created the "I've failed, again" mentality and I might have given up for good. Instead I said "Lesley, you have permission to gain weight this week and eat anything you want until next Thursday, Oh and don't bother with the tracker. Have fun!"
This morning I woke up to a whole new WW week and started tracking. I have 9.5 points left for dinner and I know exactly what I'm having so all is good.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Week 14 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 1.2 lbs (28.6 lbs total)
What was I saying about being a slow learner? I ate 2 servings of these puffed potato chips I found (2 points per serving and yummy) on Tuesday night for dinner. Healthy? not. But delicious. Except I forgot the sodium-thingy and had swollen ankles the next day from all the salt (Did I mention they were Salt & Vinegar?) Water retention from BOTH the carbs and the salt.
However, good news this week as my Doctor has reduced my dosage of Actos by 50% because my morning blood sugar is doing extremely well. I also have a blood pressure of 100/70 which is down from September's reading. So the 10% weight loss is already improving my health.
Christmas begins with a vengeance this week so I'm mentally preparing for negative scale movement as I partake (moderately) of all the season has to offer!
Ciao.
What was I saying about being a slow learner? I ate 2 servings of these puffed potato chips I found (2 points per serving and yummy) on Tuesday night for dinner. Healthy? not. But delicious. Except I forgot the sodium-thingy and had swollen ankles the next day from all the salt (Did I mention they were Salt & Vinegar?) Water retention from BOTH the carbs and the salt.
However, good news this week as my Doctor has reduced my dosage of Actos by 50% because my morning blood sugar is doing extremely well. I also have a blood pressure of 100/70 which is down from September's reading. So the 10% weight loss is already improving my health.
Christmas begins with a vengeance this week so I'm mentally preparing for negative scale movement as I partake (moderately) of all the season has to offer!
Ciao.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Week 13 Results and Lessons Learned...
Down 1 lb (27.4 lb total)
I think I'm getting the hang of what happens when I use my weekly points. This week I used them for a Christmas buffet dinner at Ocean Point at which I had a small portion of several desserts and a glass of wine, and my 2 day stay at Dunsmuir Lodge at which I ate healthy buffet selections, desserts, and some baked goods for coffee breaks. I went into the weigh-in with a good 15 points left of my weekly slush fund but...
I think I'm getting the hang of what happens when I use my weekly points. This week I used them for a Christmas buffet dinner at Ocean Point at which I had a small portion of several desserts and a glass of wine, and my 2 day stay at Dunsmuir Lodge at which I ate healthy buffet selections, desserts, and some baked goods for coffee breaks. I went into the weigh-in with a good 15 points left of my weekly slush fund but...
- More carbs equals more water retention
- All points are not created equal
- Alcohol also equals water retention
- Fequent eating keeps me more satisfied
- I'm learning! Slowly! Oh, and I got my key-chain.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Week 12 Results and Lessons Learned
Down 3.4 lbs (26.4 lbs total)
I got my 25lb reward last weigh-in and I am very happy. And, to make it even better, I only have .6 of a pound to go to hit my first weight loss goal of 27 lbs. And, to add the icing to this cake, I discovered, recorded in Dr. Oz's book, a waist measurement that I took on December 31st last year which I discovered, when I got out my tape measure and wrapped it around me, was 7.5 inches larger than my current waist!
I am learning more every week. I survived the weekend of buffet dinners at Ocean Point and Dunsmuir Lodge and got to eat my Christmas pudding and Mince tart without breaking the point bank. I am mentally prepared to not lose as much this week due to this heavy fork lifting so all is good. Christmas can be endured and the long climb into Spring will be made with a lighter step.
Las Vegas here we come!
I got my 25lb reward last weigh-in and I am very happy. And, to make it even better, I only have .6 of a pound to go to hit my first weight loss goal of 27 lbs. And, to add the icing to this cake, I discovered, recorded in Dr. Oz's book, a waist measurement that I took on December 31st last year which I discovered, when I got out my tape measure and wrapped it around me, was 7.5 inches larger than my current waist!
I am learning more every week. I survived the weekend of buffet dinners at Ocean Point and Dunsmuir Lodge and got to eat my Christmas pudding and Mince tart without breaking the point bank. I am mentally prepared to not lose as much this week due to this heavy fork lifting so all is good. Christmas can be endured and the long climb into Spring will be made with a lighter step.
Las Vegas here we come!
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