Weeks 27 & 28

27: Down .2 (42.6 lbs total)
28: Up .6 (42 lbs total)

Week 27: "The lies we tell ourselves"

So, I'm in a grocery store with my basket full of good fruit, whole grain bread, low-fat cheese, and I'm wandering back and forth because I really want chocolate. I go up and down the candy area hoping that I'll see those 100 Cal thin bars. But no, this store doesn't sell them. So I start turning over the bars to see if I can find the lowest calorie count. Eventually I have the bright idea of getting the largest dark chocolate bar because I can keep it in the fridge and eat it 3 squares at a time for a mere 80 calories a hit. With this brilliant solution I am finally free to stop orbiting the chocolate bar stand and I go check out. 21 squares later that night I am wondering why I let myself lie to myself like that. Who is the person that says "oh, that's a good idea - that chocolate bar will last for months that way" and why are they living in my head?

Week 28: "What the hell, I'm going to gain anyway"

A weekend away at a lovely spa; no tracking journal in sight. For the first time since I began WW in January I did not write down my daily point intake. I am apparently feeling secure enough to run a total in my head (see the title of Week 27 above). I ate nachos, ice cream, hollandaise, Caesar salad, bread - I drank wine. As the week progressed I did not resume tracking and by Thursday I was telling myself that I might as well order the pizza because the scales are not going to be my friend on Saturday. So I did, and then I did it again on Friday night too. How I only gained .6 is beyond me but I'm thankful.

Today I re-committed and reassured myself that learning to persevere is the lesson - not learning to avoid food.