Week 3 results and lessons learned...

Down 2.4lbs (9.6 total)

The mind is a stubborn beast to move. I lost more than the necessary pound this week and I was still disappointed. The goal of a pound a week is a safe, steady rate of loss that will help halt rebound gain. I know this. I should therefore be feeling some happiness that I exceeded this rate and some trepidation that I am dropping a little too fast. However what I am feeling is not-so-secretly disappointed. I didn't lose 2.8 lbs. this week and didn't get my next gold star, ergo I failed. Now, I understand the gold star thing; celebrating every 5 pounds keeps your eyes focussed on a nearer goal than that mythical huge number that you have to "give away". And I know that the initial weight loss had a lot to do with shedding water. And I know that this week I used most of my weekly extra points (at the movie on popcorn and a hotdog!). But my mind conveniently forgets all that - there is a prize to be won and I didn't win it. Loser!

Sigh.

Week 2 results and lesson learned...

Down 3.4lbs (7.2lbs total)

Dining out does not feel natural yet - I still feel like I'm practicing "good" eating and on some distant glorious day I will get to order the Burger with cheese, bacon, mayo, fries and ketchup again. I think this is one of the more powerful illusions about food consumption. It is what rocks the boat and tips us over the side - the sense of denial that comes up from the depths of our being.

I am not proficient yet in seeing that a salad with a grilled chicken fillet or skewer of prawns is not a hardship. It tastes fabulous, my body likes it, there is no guilt attached, and yet...

Comfort food season is here. My primitive brain wants to pack on the fat for winter; to avoid starvation in those cold Northern European winters of my genetic past. I would have made a good cave dweller.

Books to read, part 1

Last Saturday at the morning Weight Watcher meeting our "substitute" leader, Mary, came with a stack of books that she had found useful for helping with the critical emotional aspects of over-eating. One of them struck a chord with me (and with many of the other members of the meeting): Pathway by Laurel Mellin offers a practice that helps take out the "emotional trash" that drives us to excess. The Solution, as Mellin calls it, seems to be a way to help re-wire the deep, limbic region of our brain where early memories of fear, abandonment, insecurity, etc. were laid down. Her method involves Nurturing and Limit-setting as learnable skills which, when practiced often, help us to parent ourselves to complete the development necessary to live a balanced emotional, adult life. Scary, but very interesting. I'll keep you informed.

Week 1 results and lessons learned...

Down 3.8lbs.
Lessons learned:

• it is possible to follow the plan
  
• home-made, low-fat yoghurt tzaziki sauce tastes fabulous
  
• belly dancing is as fun at 49 as it is at 19
  
• water intake is difficult for me but I'm working at it
  

one week at a time...

GPS for the dieter

Here is some sage advice from "YOU: on a diet"

Have you enjoyed a few forkfuls of a coworker's cake or picked at your friend's fries? That's OK.

You're going to make wrong turns. You're going to be tempted by not-so-good-for-YOU foods. Does that mean you should steer off the dietary cliff and fall into the fatty crevasse of destructive eating? Of course not. Instead of falling into a defeatist mentality by drop-kicking healthy eating the moment you make one bad choice, confront it. How? By repeating the YOU Diet Mantra:

"At the next available moment, make an authorized YOU-turn."

Say it three times, put down the tub of cookie dough, and get back on the right road.

More: What kills any regimen of healthy eating isn't the occasional brownie or slice of pizza; it's the cascade of behavior that happens after the initial indulgence. Use the YOU Diet Mantra to steer yourself back -- and understand that you can make mistakes, but that you can correct them with some nonjudgmental coaxing. Why does it work?

* It gives you a mental crutch to carry when you're faced with difficult eating situations.
* It reminds you to be confident, to be positive, to know that the harm isn't in the first mistake, it's in not figuring out how to deal with it.

Weight Watchers begins

I have been journaling some of the things reaching my goal will allow me to do:

comfortably ride in a plane * shop in regular clothing stores * sleep deeply * have sex in some new positions (hopefully) * hike * lie on the floor and read * kneel * begin yoga * experience pleasure when I accidentally see myself in a store window as I walk by * wear those faded blue jeans with the black leather belt and a tucked in white man's shirt

Preparing for the journey

I am worried about pizza. And sex. Maybe I've had my last taste of both of them? It creates a feeling of panic in me and dangerous thoughts start to circulate. Unfortunately I worry more about the pizza.

I spent an hour reading success stories on the WW site today hoping to see myself there, hoping to feel that shift in my internal dialogue from defeatism to belief that I can do it too.

First meeting on Thursday. I can't wait.

Mission Statement

I've been reading about the power of thinking to influence your life and pretty well all of the approaches agree that some sort of mission statement or visualization of the goal is critical to achieving what we want, whether it is a functioning healthy business or a fitter, healthier body. So, with the best positive language I can muster here is my mission statement:

I am making food the healthiest part of my life by focusing each day on the Weight Watcher points system and by looking forward to some of the healthiest, freshest food I can buy.

I am incorporating exercise into my life through walking, dancing and swimming and I am committed to 30 minutes (total) a day, 5 times a week.

Throughout this journey I
• strive to tell the truth to myself
• find ways to be more caring for myself
• acknowledge moments of contentment and live in them for a while
• focus on the reasons I begin to fail and gently help myself overcome them
• seek out the leadership and support I need
• stay constant, on course
• maintain and care for my relationships with my friends
• seek completeness and understanding

I'm going to print this out and post it in the bathroom and on my fridge. I will read it every day and visualize myself at my goal weight. It feels better already.